Oh Gay Cupid! Profiles would be the windows towards Soul, or something like that | Autostraddle

Welcome to

Oh Gay Cupid!

Autostraddle’s OkCupid show. We obtain countless questions on Formspring relating to online dating, so we finally had gotten a number of folks together to fairly share it.


While OkCupid isn’t really truly the only online dating site for queers, and perhaps isn’t even the most readily useful, it does seem to be one we make use of oftentimes. We’ll be speaking about everything OkC, including meeting friends, first dates, profiles, fuck-ups, letdowns and a lot more. Even though itis the ‘OkCupid Series,’ the recommendations provided within this show can potentially be employed to any online dating site.

Oh Gay Cupid! illustrations by
Rory Midhani

Once upon a time, I made an OkCupid profile for a career I had. I didn’t really place any energy in it. I really don’t even understand just what it mentioned when I’ve erased it completely. I never been somebody who is wanting as of yet or even trying to hook-up. Most likely because I’ve never ever lived somewhere that circumstances coming while they may wasn’t adequate to fulfill my lesbionic communication quota. In order a family member outsider to your OkCupid video game, I am suggesting a possibly new approach to this online dating game to those prepared to eschew norms and just take the opportunity.

It seems if you ask me that a lot of pages are not hits because they’re both very non-offensive and not engaging that nobody is known as to activity or more particular that not too many people will bother.

No one wants to listen to more info on the manner in which you “love checking out” because that exact phrasing is usually a sign you do not actually love reading and it’s also wide proper to care and attention. Having said that, should you get very unknown that you’re making reference to how much cash you adore Carl Muller, you’ll probably do have more success locating women in grad class and that’s like an extremely pricey OkCupid in any event.

Folks pretend that by checking out someone’s profile you’ll be able to analyze them.

This certainly actually your situation so just why even pretend?

I thought it’d be better to treat getting girls on-line exactly the same way We address getting women in real life.

1. Have a hook

With OKC, the hook will be your username. Many people appear to have learned this art a lot better than You will find. In many instances, it seemed they just place two random butt situations with each other until it seemed vaguely outrageous and pretty fascinating. Various other cases, users play-off of actuality people or imaginary characters. I’m

NotHilarious

which does not exactly suit the pattern just a few others that I think should do the work tend to be SnarkyPretzel, GreenEggsandClam, and SaneMcCutcheon. Additionally something that feels like a negative indie musical organization is actually probs nailing it.

You must give folks something to stick onto. Get a stance. Pick a side. Often it’s not about which makes them would like you. It is more about making them want you to want all of them.

2. Be tongue-in-cheek

Subtlety makes individuals take notice. Even though you could be the many earnest person in the field and every word-of your own profile are correct, everybody else assumes you’re gaining airs. And in case you’re not putting them on, maybe you should always be. Whenever everyone is attempting to put their best base forward, people will not take things at par value.

You must keep in mind that quick low judgments will be made about you.

The internet dating profile is a constant battle of just what it states versus exactly what it indicates.

Sample 1:

I spend many evenings experiencing jazz with a hot cup of tea inside my fingers and my vision on performers.

Interpretation 1: you are lying (68%)

Interpretation 2: you are boring as fuck (26%)

Presentation 3: Me too! (6percent)

Example 2:

Presently i am spending almost all of my personal sparetime increasing money for a 5K to benefit the Blind Kittens of Africa Coalition.

Interpretation 1: shut-up (47per cent)

Interpretation 2: Stop exposing (46percent)

Explanation 3: Awww (7per cent)

3. have them wanting much more

The key takeaway is you’re probably odd and special. Create that weirdness enjoyable and palatable, not off-putting and showy. Choose a tone and stick to it. You can’t end up being a quirky but lovable jackass in a single concern following referring to just how your own grandma drives you every day within the next. Your own profile should keep a reader amused and guessing. Cause them to become need certainly to require the data that other people share. It’s an element of the strategy that third step delivers you right back to the 1st step. They are intrigued and want to know much more the possible lack of truthful info is the hook which will encourage them to send that message. For a lot of individuals that first step could be the most difficult. They can not see through things to say aside from, “hi.” Invest the this process they may be able conveniently just ask, “Hey, precisely what the bang is it you actually do?” and you may change from here.

Obvi your profile doesn’t always have is as strange or barebones as I exploit for the reason that it may appear drawing several men and women believe trying to be amusing can be pretentious to be unwittingly pretentious, however if you follow those three fundamental guidelines, you’ll boost the probability of no less than showing up witty and interesting even though you are actuallyn’t. I know I Am Not.

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